Scars

There's something that keeps going round and round in my head recently and I feel the only way to get it out is to write it down.

We lose people all the time.

I'm not necessarily talking about death although they fall into the category but break-ups, loss of contact with friends, family etc.

Some memories you try so desperately to hold onto.

The way my grandmother used to wipe away my tears when I was sad and tell me that "tears are precious, you shouldn't waste them" 

My sisters belly laugh when she giggled.

What they looked like, their faces; their voices. 

I'm always worried I'll forget them.

Then there are some memories you try to forget. 

Erase from your memory like they never happened.

When you go through a break up or loss of contact, your mind seems to replay all the happy memories but they're not happy anymore they're just a reminder that hurts so you push them away. 

Focus on something else.

When you lose a loved one, your mind fills you with guilt. All the things you wish you hadn't said, All the things you wish you had said more. 

It cruel really because now they're gone forever and you know you'll never get that chance.

To tell them:

I'm sorry

I love you

I miss you

I forgive you

Instead these words haunt me, these memories I'm trying so hard to forget are like burns.

I'm left with the scars.