Loving them is the most exquisite form of self destruction.

This whole "love" thing is awfully complicated.

Don't get me wrong being in love is amazing- if the feeling is reciprocated.

Otherwise it is just a whirlwind of pain,

At least that's what I used to believe.

You see, reader, I am as always going to let you in on a deep secret that I have discovered what love truly is.

Not infatuation, Not a common crush, Not a happily ever after unrealistic love story but a modern day love story with no ending for it has never begun.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I am no believer of love at first sight but on more than one occasion has a beautiful man caught my eye.

However this person (I must shield their identity for obvious reasons) would not have caught my eye.

I find them attractive of course but that isn't why I love them.

I fell in love with their soul (I promise this isn't a cheesey declaration of love)

It was only until I really knew them, knew what kind of person they were.

Noone is perfect and I am under no illusion that this person is

Every imperfection, I admire and adore (or just tolerate).

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This is the part where I tell you how magical it is to be in love and how we're going to runaway into the sunset?

Unfortunately in this love story the ending is unclear because this is just a chapter in the book but I can confidently say that we will never be together.

Oh don't feel sad, or give me that pitiful smile you give to a three legged puppy.

I knew this all along and I tried to prevent it but I could not stop loving them anymore than I could stop breathing.

*Cue the sad violin*

Just kidding, THIS ISN'T A SAD STORY.

*Cue happy chirpy music at the end of a RomCom that has nothing to do with the film*

Love is more than living happily ever after.

Love is more than waking up with the same person every morning.

Love is wanting them to be happy regardless of whether they are with you.

Love is wanting them to be safe and well but not wanting anything in return.

Maybe I could just be their Guardian Angel? Just without the wings and far less beautiful... Actually that would just make me seem like a stalker.

I will never ask for anything from them.

I will always be there for them.

I will just never be theirs.

Loving them is the most exquisite form of self destruction.