Why it's ok to be sad.

Life can be cruel sometimes. It's the sad but honest truth.

However sometimes you can find yourself feeling sad without any real reason.

Depression.

There's a huge amount of stigma attached to this but there something which is much more harmful than stigma- Ignorance.

I understand that unless you've experienced depression yourself it can be frustrating and you find yourself saying...

"Why are you sad?"

"Snap out of it"

Don't say it.

Sometimes there isn't a reason and when you tell someone you are feeling down they seem to automatically think it's something they've done. It's not. You can keep asking me why but I honestly don't know. When someone tells you they feel sad. Accept it. Don't ask questions. All you need to say is "I'm so sorry you feel that way and I understand there may be little I can do to help but I am here if you need me." It's that simple. 

No awkward silence. No quickly changing the subject. No demanding why they are sad.

I can't stop being sad. This isn't a choice. Whilst there are things you can do to "be kind to yourself" that may not make it go away. You have to ride out the storm. 

Telling someone with depression to snap out of it is like telling them to stop their heart beating

 It's out of their control. 

You are not expected to be there counsellor and you're not expected to say the right thing. Sometimes you just have to be there and show them that they aren't alone.

Loneliness is part of depression. You feel so lost and you don't know why. You don't know when it's going to stop, if it's going to stop and you feel there's no one you can honestly turn to.

We are brought up in a society where when someone asks "How are you?" your response is always "I'm fine" followed by a fake smile. 

Why?

If someone I loved was suicidal I'd want them to tell me. Sadly we live in a world where suicides occur and no one even knew they were struggling. Noone even knew they were sad. Then they are faced by this guilt of "Why didn't I know". 

People don't die from suicide. They die from sadness.

Have courage and stop wearing the brave face. Tell someone how you truly feel.

Blog love

xxx